Because I Don't Blog....

Monday, January 25, 2010

And the benefactor of my allegiance is..............

Ohh it is that time of year again where the Super Bowl match up has been determined and now I can jump on one of the teams’ band wagon as if I had been there all season long (granted the contractual terms of my support only lasts ‘til half time as to protect against the humiliation of a blowout, see Niners v. Broncos 1990.) In years past the decision has met very little difficulty as to who would receive the well known “Mangum bump”. Decisions in the past were determined quite easily. Let’s take Super bowl XXXIV for example where the Titans squared off against “greatest show on turf” Rams. For this event it was very easy to throw my fandom behind those mangy titans as there was on the roster a Ute by the name of Kevin Dyson, not to mention Eddie George and a pre-adulterating, pre-dead Steve McNair were pretty easy to root for. Super Bowl XLII was an easy choice as I had no problem supporting “My New York Giants” frankly because of my hatred towards Tom Brady stemming from several occasions where he and I competed over the same woman, and that last time Brady with his 5 o’clock shadow and his Stetson filled air got the best of me; see Gisele, damn you Brady!

But why live in the past, let’s return to the present, who will receive my cheers and what enemy will receive my jeers? The task of who would receive my allegiance was so arduous that I had to invoke a compare/contrast analysis. So without further ado here are the match ups leading to the ever important end result:

Cities: Indianapolis v. New Orleans

Victor: New Orleans. With the atmosphere of the French Quarter and the life of Bourbon Street how could I not give the nod to the Big Easy? Not to mention that the city was obliterated by Katrina and the Saints have served as there rallying cry. Oh and Indianapolis is as boring as Land Before Time 7.

Quarterbacks: Peyton v. Brees

Victor: Peyton Manning, this was tough! There is something so appealing about rooting for someone with a birth defect, see Brees’ face. But Peyton’s numbers and swagger were too tough to ignore not to mention his commercials are hilarious.

Coaches: Sean Payton v. Jim Calldwell

Advantage: Sean Payton based on the pure and simple fact that we all know that Tony Dungy is still coaching the Colts from the broadcast booth and there is a very good chance that Peyton (I know all the Pa(e)yton’s are getting confusing) may actually be the coach of the Colts.

Receivers: Reggie Wayne V. Colston/Meacham

Victor: Wayne, he is a bad, bad man. Some of the catches he makes are just ridiculous. That and he went to the U, which means he has ties to Ray Lewis who may or may not kill me if I gave the nod elsewhere. Not to mention we are speaking Super Bowl weekend here when Ray, Ray has a propensity to get a little crazy.

Thus my dilemma……. Tied with only the tie breaker left, which means I had to go to best team “biznatches or beeotch”

Be@otch: Kim Kardashian v. Austin Collie

And thus my decision was made simple, a curvy buxom brunette who actually makes me want to eat a Carls Jr. Salad or a pasty P.O.S that lives right off the field so that he can perform well on the field. I’ll go Kim K. as one of the happiest moments of my life was when Collie got lit up by Ray Lewis last week.

There you have it Danny Mangum official member of Who Dat Nation.

Sunday, December 6, 2009


You should follow me on Twitter because I am freaking hilarious.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

"Make 'em say uhhh, uhh nah nah nah nah" -Master P

Tonight as I was driving home from the office my mind began to reflect upon a subject very near and dear to me... Yes my wife and unborn son are important to me, but on this night I was contemplating upon things of a higher plane... University of Utah Football.
These past few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. The screaming highs from the Sugar Bowl announcement, a steep drop after hearing the impending departure of Gary Anderson and the corkscrew more commonly known as the Andy Ludwig departure.
The Gary Anderson situation was only surprising in that he went to go coach the Aggies?!? Really? Really? I wouldn't wish that job on my enemy. Wait.. nevermind, Austin Collie you can totally go coach the aggies.
The Andy Ludwig thing was a bit more shocking. Leaving your offensive coordinator position at the BCS bound Utes to take a like position with "yawn" Kansas State Wildcats. Well like Nelly said "Hey must be the money!" but that dude also said Err time that beat go yous gotta shake that thang yo" so he obviously can't be trusted. During my drive i continued deeper and deeper into a pit of despair as I forcasted what next season may hold. ( I really need to start living in the moment.)
Anderson leaving doesn't really hurt us that bad seeing that Whittingham is of a defensive mind and he holds the keys to the kingdom that is the utes defense. The Ludwig situation is of a different beast. Next year the offense will not only lose their offensive coordinator but will use their senior quarterback, a star running back, wide receivers galore and a host of several key O-lineman. That's alot of shiz to deal with in one off-season (remember '04). Seeing that I am a democrat I decided to actively use my brain to develop an idea to ameliorate this situation as opposed "letting the free market handle it". The following is the stroke of genius that all occurred during a 15 minute commute:
With so much change on the hill the last thing you want to do is look outside the program for an offensive coordinator. Change is good but too much change will leave you looking like Rupaul. Yeah there are a few internal candidates amongst the coaching ranks but nobody really sticks out.( This is where I was when the miracle happened....). Who knows the Ute offense better than anyone amongst the coaching ranks? Who understands first hand the remaining offensive weapons on our side of the ball? Who can read and pick apart every defense in the MWC? Brian Johnson! I'm not joking! Dude is not going to make it in the NFL. He's already graduated from school. He knows the offense and is a way better play caller than Ludwig. Utah's most impressive wins this season were a result of BJ audibling and leading the team down the field. The move to make Johnson offensive coordinator would also provide a calming presence of stability in a whirlwind of change. So there you have it Johson as the new offensive coordinator ( I'm a genius). I have already e-mailed Dr Hill and expect a return e-mail shortly but in case my email ended up in the junk folder...

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is for us to Roll the Tide and immediatley following the victory Johnson announcing that he will stay at Utah as the new O.C.

Ohh and if you have time.... please make my wife famous.

Cookies and Milk,


Tuesday, December 16, 2008

"This is my confession..." (meant to be read in accordance with Usher's masterpiece)

Our government functions through a complex system of checks and balances. No branch of the government can solely implement an idea or motion without passing through the gauntlet that is a series of power players from various other branches. Such is my reason for joining the blogosphere. Until now Ms. Suite-Mangum has had free reign sans any sort of recourse. My blog will serve as a rebuttal or a "what really happened" version of the suitespots. And I imagine will discuss sports as well. I think I'll leave the politics to the hyphenated Mrs.