Ohh it is that time of year again where the Super Bowl match up has been determined and now I can jump on one of the teams’ band wagon as if I had been there all season long (granted the contractual terms of my support only lasts ‘til half time as to protect against the humiliation of a blowout, see Niners v. Broncos 1990.) In years past the decision has met very little difficulty as to who would receive the well known “Mangum bump”. Decisions in the past were determined quite easily. Let’s take Super bowl XXXIV for example where the Titans squared off against “greatest show on turf” Rams. For this event it was very easy to throw my fandom behind those mangy titans as there was on the roster a Ute by the name of Kevin Dyson, not to mention Eddie George and a pre-adulterating, pre-dead Steve McNair were pretty easy to root for. Super Bowl XLII was an easy choice as I had no problem supporting “My New York Giants” frankly because of my hatred towards Tom Brady stemming from several occasions where he and I competed over the same woman, and that last time Brady with his 5 o’clock shadow and his Stetson filled air got the best of me; see Gisele, damn you Brady!
But why live in the past, let’s return to the present, who will receive my cheers and what enemy will receive my jeers? The task of who would receive my allegiance was so arduous that I had to invoke a compare/contrast analysis. So without further ado here are the match ups leading to the ever important end result:
Cities: Indianapolis v. New Orleans
Victor: New Orleans. With the atmosphere of the French Quarter and the life of Bourbon Street how could I not give the nod to the Big Easy? Not to mention that the city was obliterated by Katrina and the Saints have served as there rallying cry. Oh and Indianapolis is as boring as Land Before Time 7.
Quarterbacks: Peyton v. Brees
Victor: Peyton Manning, this was tough! There is something so appealing about rooting for someone with a birth defect, see Brees’ face. But Peyton’s numbers and swagger were too tough to ignore not to mention his commercials are hilarious.
Coaches: Sean Payton v. Jim Calldwell
Advantage: Sean Payton based on the pure and simple fact that we all know that Tony Dungy is still coaching the Colts from the broadcast booth and there is a very good chance that Peyton (I know all the Pa(e)yton’s are getting confusing) may actually be the coach of the Colts.
Receivers: Reggie Wayne V. Colston/Meacham
Victor: Wayne, he is a bad, bad man. Some of the catches he makes are just ridiculous. That and he went to the U, which means he has ties to Ray Lewis who may or may not kill me if I gave the nod elsewhere. Not to mention we are speaking Super Bowl weekend here when Ray, Ray has a propensity to get a little crazy.
Thus my dilemma……. Tied with only the tie breaker left, which means I had to go to best team “biznatches or beeotch”
Be@otch: Kim Kardashian v. Austin Collie
And thus my decision was made simple, a curvy buxom brunette who actually makes me want to eat a Carls Jr. Salad or a pasty P.O.S that lives right off the field so that he can perform well on the field. I’ll go Kim K. as one of the happiest moments of my life was when Collie got lit up by Ray Lewis last week.
There you have it Danny Mangum official member of Who Dat Nation.
